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Mommy Needs Grace

by | Aug 6, 2020 | Faith journey, Motherhood | 9 comments

Every morning, I get up holding on to that little thread called grace.

It’s the only thing that sustains me throughout the day. Because I inevitably fail, big or small.

Yesterday, I failed big time.

It was one of those days that the boys just would not stop fighting and bickering.

With three of them all out of control at the same time over a dollar store sand toy, I lost it.

I swatted the kid who was screaming on the back of his head, jerked that toy from my three years old’s hand, and yelled to all three of them: “You guys are so stingy! Look at your play room! It’s full of stuff and you are fighting for this thing?”

Every one stopped in their tracks. But mama was not done.

Oh no, not when mama was totally unglued.

I grabbed a garbage bag, marched into the playroom, and started dumping toys into the bag one bin after another.

The sounds of toys crashing into the bottom of the bag was so pleasant to my ears, all the while I was grinding my teeth: those ungrateful kids! They are never happy! It doesn’t matter what you do for them!

When I carried the bag crossing the room, one of the twins said to me: “mommy I am going to die.”

“What? What did you just say?” I stopped in my track.
With tears swelling in his eyes, he said: “if you give all our toys away, I am going to die!”
What a dramatic little brat I thought, and I sat down next to him.

Looking at him square in the eyes, I started the old lecture about, “mommy and daddy didn’t have nothing growing up, and look at what you have!”

“So what do you want now?“ With that I closed the lecture.

My little boy, who we thought was in need of a spurt growth of maturity, quickly looked at me with his deep almond eyes, and said in a sweet but firm voice:

“I want to love you mommy.”

I thought I heard wrong. “What ? What do you want ?“

“I want to love you mommy, I love you mommy.”

This angry momma melted into a puddle of mush right then. I held him in my arms and…as all fairy tales usually ended— we had a happy ending that day.

I hang on to a thread of grace every day. And yesterday, God showed me His grace through my six year old boy.

His little six year old heart saw through all the huffing and puffing of me, knowing that all this mommy needed at that moment was a little bit of love.

I thought I was the only one always giving out grace, but in fact, it is my kids who always give me grace by forgiving me and loving me no matter what.

Our God let me know, even in my ugliest moments, He still wants to love me.

We have one perfect Father— his patience is never ending.

I can transform into a mommy monster a millions times in this mom journey, and He will never become unglued with me. All my failures are erased everyday by the end of each day, so I can go to sleep with a grateful and peaceful heart.

Mommy needs grace. Ain’t that the truth.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” Psalm 103:8
  1. Friends, What kind of grace do you need today?
  2. Which area of life do you want to work on the most?

9 Comments

  1. Lainey

    1. Grace on my kids to be slower to bark at them orders.
    2. Grace on myself to step out, be ok if I messed up, Grace on I don’t have to have it all together.

    Reply
    • Ying McLane

      Amen sister! So grateful we have a gracious God to give us abundant grace!

      Reply
  2. ashleysweets209

    Oh my goodness, I cried with this post because all too often I have yelled or came unglued on a 2 ½ year old that doesn’t know any better and seeing the fear in his eyes breaks my heart.

    1. Today I need grace in my patience and acceptance of who my child is with his struggle to speak.

    2. One area I need work on in my life is to react less and understand and accept more.

    Thank you for sharing your stories.

    Reply
    • Ying McLane

      Thank you, Ashley. Me too, I am also often quick to react; I really need to be quick to listen and slow to speak instead.

      Reply
  3. Ashley Pagels

    Ashleysweets209 is Ashley Pagels

    Reply
  4. Christian luciano

    Grace is so complex because it seems like it should be easy but sometimes it’s so so hard!!! I’m praying to have grace in the unknown. I’m a planner and when situations change I can easily get in a bad mood but I’m hoping the reminder of grace helps me ease up!

    Reply
    • Ying McLane

      Yes, we need always remind ourselves that instead of clinging on our own will, looking up to Him for directions.

      Reply
  5. Mel

    Bought tears to my eyes! Clearly you’re doing all the right things! Your boys are so grounded! What loving hearts they have!

    Reply

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