I am so over it! Over the new normal, over the feeling of being overwhelmed.
It seems every day there is new information to trigger me, confuse me, or burden me.
And if there is good news to bring me some hope, the next day it will crash to the ground.
I, AM, DONE.
I feel my endurance is running thin. My spiritual steps go from steady to a screeching halt.
I need to stop and take a deep breath.
The wisest man who ever lived once told us: ”There is a season for everything.”
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear downs d a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. “ Ecclesiastes 3:1-5
And after some hard soul searching, I am convinced in this season Our Father’s commands are NOT:
—Make the perfect choice for schooling;
—Fill up my calendar with special quarantine activities;
—Burden my heart with the extra noises from social media and news;
—Cook the healthiest meal for my family (we discovered that the lasagna from stores is just as good).
Every season has a reason. I am convinced, that at this time, His only command is— ”Seek me.”
Yes, relentlessly seek Him, not for an answer, but for the truth.
When I humble myself, so I can quiet the voice of the world;
When I stop the never-ending circle of to-do lists that keep spinning in my head;
Then I can persist in finding Him by reading and meditating on His word, and praying.
Only after I fill myself up with the solid truth of God, can I then pour myself out with a faithful servant’s heart.
The truth is, our spiritual walk with our God is often mysterious.
I like to think of Him as a Grand Master weaving a magnificent tapestry. I will not always get an answer for my every question, but I can rest assured that He is weaving this season of anxiety and uncertainty into a small piece of the grand tapestry as well.
I need to remind myself over and over again— in this season; it’s ok not to run; walking steadily with Him is just fine.
”For everyone born of God overcomes the world.” 1 John 5:4