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Our Children are Our Treasure, Not Our Trophies

by | Oct 28, 2020 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

“I want this one! “ “And I like that one! “ My four years old twins shouted with excitement while their little fingers pointed to the trophies in the display glass. We were at the entrance to the arena for their first skating lesson, and that hockey trophy display grabbed their eyes.

Like admiring a sparkling Christmas window display, my boys looked at those beautiful trophies with great amazement.

”You know, maybe one day you will win trophies just like these, if you try hard enough.” I cheerfully said.

At that moment, my mama’s heart was filled with colorful dreams for my boys…maybe, oh just maybe, one day one of the boys will have a chance to hold a trophy just like this…

So week after week, we hustled them to the ring, tied that never-ending skating shoelaces gave them some pep talk, watched the coach hold their little hands and guide them to the ice, and pray that they will do better this time.

My heart string tightened every time I watched one of those little figures fall on the hard ice, and cheered when they got up and clumsily waddled through the ring.

More than one time, my boys said they did not want to take skating lessons anymore, but I persisted. I thought if we persevere, one day, they will fall in love with this sport.

The cold air inside the ring always settled in my body quickly, but my stubborn heart held on to the warm and fuzzy hope for quite a long time.

Until one day, I saw a little Asian boy flying like a bird on the ice. He laughed with joy, and there was not an ounce of fear in that little body. I couldn’t help but walk over to the daddy and ask him how many lessons his son had taken.

“This is the second one.” He answered me nonchalantly.

I was stunned. My boys have been taken lessons for almost a year, and they finally can walk steadily without falling but still can hardly slide.

More importantly, I don’t see the joy on their faces when they were on the ice.

So just like that, as all dreams will eventually meet reality, God taught me another important lesson – what I want maybe is not what His plan is for us.

But why are the pieces of those crushed dreams for our children so incredibly hard to pick up?

Because often, we have this record playing in our heads over and over—

“I am a great mom if my children are doing great,”

“I am a bad mom if my children fail.”

As for me, in this case, since my expectation was too high, it was hard to admit that my boys are just not gifted at skating.

Similarly, we feel the magic sparkle land on ourselves when our children are put on the front row; win a prize, or crush a competition.

On the opposite, we feel dusty and shame when our children misbehave in public; fail a task; earn a lousy score, or lose a game.

In short, our own self worth is often attached to our children; thus, our children’s performance becomes an unhealthy extension of our own identity.

But God gave our children to cherish, not to show them off.

Like the ones we saw at the arena, trophies are to be put in the most prominent places for the world to see.

But like with treasure, we should carefully take care of them, put them in a safe place, and guard them with our hearts.

Dear friend, please realize this: our children are our treasures, not our trophies. Their value and success don’t need this world’s measurements.

Needles to say, we stopped the skating lessons, and my boys eventually found sports they liked and are good at–jujitsu and tennis. 

As for me, I learned to hold on to this truth-

Just like I am precious in our God’s eyes, and He does not need my works to prove that I am worthy, so should the way of my love be for my children.


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