This month my husband and I will be celebrating ten years of marriage. One of the biggest things I’ve learned from that ten years is that my husband feels loved when he is respected.
Like I said in the previous post that marriage is hard work, I have found myself in situations with my husband that I put him down with my words in front of others, whether it’s the children or other couples without even knowing that I’m doing it, thus made him feel jaded.
Now I have gotten better at catching myself before I speak, I still have slip-ups, and I have to apologize to my husband. I have found that it is always best to allow him to be him and then communicate alone later about any discontent situation.
We should never put our husbands in the position that we treat them like children. They are not our children, and we can’t change them.
We are there to sharpen and encourage our spouses.
I’ve also learned through these ten years that when we do argue in front of our children, they need to see us make up. They need us to model the right way to resolve conflicts.
At the very beginning of the Bible that the word ”help” is mentioned in Genesis. We see in Genesis 2 with Adam and Eve that it was not good for man to be alone, so God made Adam a mate. ”Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, she will be called woman.” ( Genesis 2:23)
Friends, men do need us, and God made couples to depend on each other. We are called to lift and encourage our husbands.
I know that in some marriages, it’s tough to encourage your partner when you don’t feel being loved. But God has called us as wives to fully give ourselves to our husbands, not withholding anything.
And yes, that means sex too. I know there are days as a mom of three I just don’t want to be touched because I had my little ones all over me all day long already. But I know it’s not fair to my husband, who worked hard and missed me and longs to be close to me. Do you think your husband will feel rejected or unloved when you say no?
Let’s be honest ladies here, when have we ever complained after having some intimate time with our husbands?
Remember, the true marriage blessings come from becoming one physically and spiritually. And that takes sacrifices. This shuts the mouth of Satan, taking away his power on your marriage. When you become one in Spirit, it gives you a superpower in your marriage. This not only applies to sex but can also apply to prayer, communion, and in communication with each other.
Don’t allow Satan to take away what God has blessed you with.
Another practice my husband and I implemented in our marriage is to never go to bed angry. We always try to talk things out before we put our heads down at night. Because if I don’t, then I will be wrestling with the wrong spirit all night long. It is best always to communicate before the sun goes down.
“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26
So wives, to be a better mate for our husband, we should: pray for them, show them respect, build them up with encouragement, meet their needs as a wife, and communicate openly as much as possible.
I hope these personal lessons of mine will give you some encouragement today.
Here are some more great scriptures about marriages.
1 Corinthians 11:3
1 Corinthians 13:4-8