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What a Man Really Wants From His Wife

by | Feb 5, 2021 | Faith journey, Marriage | 1 comment

This month my husband and I will be celebrating ten years of marriage. One of the biggest things I’ve learned from that ten years is that my husband feels loved when he is respected.

Like I said in the previous post that marriage is hard work, I have found myself in situations with my husband that I put him down with my words in front of others, whether it’s the children or other couples without even knowing that I’m doing it, thus made him feel jaded.

Now I have gotten better at catching myself before I speak, I still have slip-ups, and I have to apologize to my husband. I have found that it is always best to allow him to be him and then communicate alone later about any discontent situation.

We should never put our husbands in the position that we treat them like children. They are not our children, and we can’t change them.

We are there to sharpen and encourage our spouses.

I’ve also learned through these ten years that when we do argue in front of our children, they need to see us make up. They need us to model the right way to resolve conflicts.

At the very beginning of the Bible that the word ”help” is mentioned in Genesis. We see in Genesis 2 with Adam and Eve that it was not good for man to be alone, so God made Adam a mate. ”Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, she will be called woman.” ( Genesis 2:23)

Friends, men do need us, and God made couples to depend on each other. We are called to lift and encourage our husbands. 

I know that in some marriages, it’s tough to encourage your partner when you don’t feel being loved. But God has called us as wives to fully give ourselves to our husbands, not withholding anything. 

And yes, that means sex too. I know there are days as a mom of three I just don’t want to be touched because I had my little ones all over me all day long already. But I know it’s not fair to my husband, who worked hard and missed me and longs to be close to me. Do you think your husband will feel rejected or unloved when you say no?

Let’s be honest ladies here,​ ​when have we ever complained after having some intimate time with our husbands?

Remember, the true marriage blessings come from becoming one physically and spiritually. And that takes sacrifices. This shuts the mouth of Satan, taking away his power on your marriage. When you become one in Spirit, it gives you a superpower in your marriage. This not only applies to sex but can also apply to prayer, communion, and in communication with each other.

Don’t allow Satan to take away what God has blessed you with.

Another practice my husband and I implemented in our marriage is to never go to bed angry. We always try to talk things out before we put our heads down at night. Because if I don’t, then I will be wrestling with the wrong spirit all night long. It is best always to communicate before the sun goes down.

“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26 

So wives, to be a better mate for our husband, we should: pray for them, show them respect, build them up with encouragement, meet their needs as a wife, and communicate openly as much as possible.

I hope these personal lessons of mine will give you some encouragement today.

Here are some more great scriptures about marriages.

1 Corinthians 11:3

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Ephesians 5:21-33 

Ephesians 5:33 

Matthew 19:4-6


Lainey Klos

1 Comment

  1. Lisa Vazquez

    This post really brings up some sensitive topics that are extremely important in marriage, especially during the tough moments when we need to intentionally put Christ at the center. Another point I’d like to share is that intimacy should be initiated by both husband and wife. However, sometimes it isn’t. Some men are not as affectionate and see intimacy differently than women. My husband sometimes reverts to being less affectionate. Affection was sadly not often demonstrated in his home when he was a child, especially between his parents. And I’m very affectionate. This is something that I had to learn to not take personally. There were times early on in our marriage where I doubted his love for me, which really hurt his feelings. We spent quite a bit of time in the Word, learning about loving one another, and what that looks like. And I had to learn how to avoid telling myself a story. I also learned that my initiation of a soft touch, a gentle whisper softens his heart and brings him back to the new man he is in Christ. Thank you, Lainey, for being so open and sharing!


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